How to Write a Eulogy

It’s the personal tasks related to a funeral that tend to be the most challenging. Writing a eulogy is a delicate artform, and not one that we hope to get good at. If you’re reading this, perhaps you recently were asked to crafr a eulogy speech, and you’re not sure where to start. This post will hopefully put you on the right track to create a wonderful eulogy for an upcoming service and some helpful tips to remember on the day that you’ll be delivering it.

If you need help with this important ask, reach out to Memoria to work with a funeral advisor on this and anything else that is giving you trouble.

What is a Eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech made in remembrance of someone who has died. The eulogy speech is typically made at their funeral, and pays tribute to their life in some shape of form. The funeral might feature two or more eulogies made by individuals who were close to the deceased. The person making the eulogy might tell a personal anecdote about their relationship of the person being honored, or they might touch on that person’s achievements, or share general memories. There is no required format for a eulogy – each one is unique and should be personalized to convey the thoughts and emotions of the person speaking.

If you have been asked to deliver a eulogy at an upcoming service, or if you feel compelled to do so based on your relationship with the deceased, you’ll likely find that writing this speech is a tremendous challenge. You may have a lifetime of memories that you are trying to wrap up into just a few minutes of remarks. The best thing you can do with this speech is to allow it to be authentic and organic. You don’t need to fit it into anyone else’s expectations – it should just be an expression of your feelings for the person you have lost.

How to Use Examples of Eulogies

So, what kind of stories should you tell? Here are some angles that will help you carry out the purpose of the eulogy:

• Memorable stories about the person who passed

• A reflection of your relationship with the deceased

• An account of how that person impacted your life

• A list of their achievements

• Memories from the perspective of others

There are plenty of eulogy examples available on the web today, but you want to be careful about adjusting yours so that it remains personal and authentic. So, how can you use short eulogy examples to help craft your own speech? Here are a few tips –

• Remember that the eulogy is for the audience, and not for you. Although the process of writing and delivering the eulogy will help you with your grieving and healing, your audience will be those at the funeral who are very much grieving. It’s best to avoid any stories that would shock, upset, or confuse anyone

• When looking at examples, try to map out the overall structure for the speech rather than paying attention to the details. For instance, you might want to start with an overview of your recent relationship with the deceased before going back into history to tell a longer story

• Eulogies almost always include a story. This is because it’s human nature to communicate through stories, and it’s what helps us relate emotionally. It’s okay to tell a story that is meant to make people laugh – this is a sad occasion, of course, but laughter is still welcome

• Last but not least, don’t forget to close out your eulogy with a heartfelt conclusion. A helpful trick is to use a quote. Pick out the deceased loved one’s favorite quote, or a quote that describes their character.

A Couple of Eulogy Tips

Before we wrap up, let’s touch on a couple more quick tips –

• Write it down. It’s perfectly acceptable to write down your eulogy speech word for word. Actually, it’s recommended. The idea of having to memorize a speech will add to your nerves on an already emotional day. 

• Consider timing. While there is no golden rule for the length of a eulogy, speaking for somewhere between five and ten minutes is a good range.

• Speak slowly. When we’re nervous, we tend to speak a lot faster than we normally would. Even if you think you’re going at your normal cadence, it’s likely that you’re still a bit uptempo. When delivering any type of speech or performance, you want to make sure the audience can hear every word. Slow down, enunciate your words, and take appropriate pauses.

• Handling a wave of emotions. Everyone will be emotional, and it’ll be understandable if you are overcome by emotion and need to pause here and there. If you feel a wave of tears or other emotion coming on, simply pause and take a deep breath to soothe yourself.

The Partner You Need

From getting help from a funeral advisor in creating a meaningful eulogy to picking out a casket or urn, to just about anything else related to a funeral, Memoria is a partner you can trust. We are experienced in this industry and will guide you through the many hurdles from start to finish. This is a difficult time in your life and you shouldn’t have to face it alone. Feel free to reach out today for more information.